Creating Structure and Values: Lessons from a Tennessee Family with Five Children
Maintaining order and harmony in a household with five children is a challenging task. A Tennessee couple devised a set of rules and expectations to bring structure to their busy home. Their youngest daughter, Hannah Burch, now 24 and a mother herself, shared a viral TikTok video reflecting on the unique upbringing she and her siblings experienced. The family had rules around tattling, monthly yardwork, and chore expectations that fostered creativity, responsibility, and accountability without the children realizing it. Burch appreciates these practices now, as they prepared her for the real world.
Chores were mandatory in their household, and Burch's mom introduced a fun system called "Bunk Checks" to incentivize cleanliness. The kids earned points based on the tidiness of their rooms, leading to rewards like monetary incentives or choosing the next family activity. Another opportunity for a small reward was given when someone complimented their behavior at restaurants, encouraging them to always be on their best behavior. The money they earned felt meaningful as it was their own to save or spend on something they desired.
To teach the value of money, Burch's mom took one child to the grocery store each month with $20 to plan and buy dinner for the family. Whatever they didn't spend, they could keep. One of Burch's brothers saved his grocery trip money over a few months and surprised everyone with a fancy steak dinner. In addition to these creative systems, the family had strict guidelines, such as the age at which they received their first cell phone, which Burch now appreciates for allowing her an extended childhood.
Certain TV shows were off-limits in Burch's house if her parents deemed the content inappropriate, even if they were kids' shows like SpongeBob or The Suite Life of Zach & Cody. Despite this, she and her siblings found ways to watch the shows when their parents weren't home, bonding over the shared experience. Burch believes that her parents' rules were about preserving their childhoods and fostering family bonding. These rules and guidelines have contributed to the strong bond her family shares today, with many memories to cherish.
While social media is now Burch's full-time career, she plans to implement most, if not all, of her parents' rules with her own children in the future. The upbringing she received has shaped her values and appreciation for the lessons learned through her family's unique practices.